Friday, December 23, 2011

It's time to start blogging again when...

Yes. It HAS been a few months. Quite a few months, in fact. And I've missed it. Not that I generally have something profound or original to say, but it's fun to leave my little mark in this corner of the blogosphere.

The past several weeks, I've been thinking that I'd really like to start blogging again. Things are settling into a more steady rhythm with having Levi here. Wait. That's right! You haven't met Levi yet! Well, he's the adorable little boy in the header pictures that isn't Alex. He was born on September 30th. We affectionately refer to him as "angel baby". To offer a bit of distinction, we've never referred to his brother as "angel baby". Not even once. Anyway, with life evolving into a new "normal" and Alex getting older, more vocal, more mobile, more cognitive, more trouble...{you get the picture} and with the fun that's certainly going to come from having 2 boys so close in age, I've been thinking that it's a great time to hit the keyboard again. I just have this inkling that life is going to get {more} interesting. Really, life is pretty interesting all by myself...I don't actually need the extra help. Aaron says the only reason I have so many stories is because I just don't pay attention. And when you aren't paying attention, things seem to "happen".

Like the other day when I was temporarily distracted {notice how I didn't say "wasn't paying attention"?} and when I finally came-to, realized that Alex had drawn with a Sharpie all.over.the.hardwood.floors. Yep! I wish I would have thought to grab a camera and take a picture; however, I was too busy standing there chanting "crap, crap, crap" and thinking about what was going to happen to ME once Aaron came home...and how I would have to 'fess up that I "wasn't paying attention".

So the reason I decided to start blogging right now?

I took the boys to Target today to return a couple of things and to pick up some dryer sheets, soap, and hair spray. Yes...I went out 2 days before Christmas for toiletries. So there I am cruising down the shampoo aisle and all of a sudden, something with my shoe feels very drafty and very wrong. I look down and my shoe had literally fallen apart in front of my face

{right shoe}
{right shoe again}
Totally bizarre, right!? The shoe was in mint condition when I left the house and in a split second, it looks like this?! I'm thinking, "Ok, totally weird, but what the heck?! At least they have a shoe department here and at least I didn't go to Aldi first!" I begin to shuffle across to the shoe department {which is, of course, on the complete opposite side of the store}, when suddenly my other shoe starts to feel strange. Apparently, spontaneous combustion is contagious.

{left shoe}

Seriously. Notice the large chunk of heel missing?! You should have seen it. Trying to keep both shoes on, while pushing a cart containing a newborn attempting to drink from a bottle propped up by blankets and a toddler screaming for more apples. I {finally} made it to the shoes and manage to find a really cute pair, on sale, that match my outfit and that I'd actually wear again, but probably won't because since Levi came along, I find myself consistently opting for sneakers instead of cuteness.

Let me detour for a moment. Over the last couple of months, Alex has realized he can make himself gag if he sticks his fingers down his throat. For some reason, he really enjoys this...while we do not. Needless to say, we've been trying to break him of this weird ritual. No idea where he gets this stuff from. Like the time last month he gave himself a bloody nose on the way home from church by sticking his finger too far up it while quickly inhaling & exhaling....but I digress. {Can you see where this is going!?}

So there I am, trying to untie the stretchy things adjoining the 2 shoes so I can actually determine if a pre-pregnancy 8 will suffice or if, like everything else that's gotten fatter, my feet have as well and I now need an 8.5{of course the latter ended up being true.} Then I hear the gagging. I look up and Alex is choking/gagging, eyes red & watering, mouth hanging all open. At that exact moment, the shoe-stocker lady happens to be walking towards us to put something on the shelf. She literally stops dead in her tracks, leans backwards in preparation for what she's sure is coming and says, "ewww..." or "oh NO!" or something like that. Alex, of course, recovers and shoe-stocker lady sidesteps around us as I try not to make eye contact with her while resisting the urge to spank the daylights out of him as it would be unfortunate to spend Christmas in jail. About 10 seconds later the gagging starts again and the child ralphs Nice chunks of Golden Delicious. Down his shirt, on his pants, on the cart seat... At this point, I'm thinking that Christmas in jail might not be so bad. Maybe even worth it. Then, of course, the wailing starts {because we all know how enjoyable puking is} and the shoe-stocker lady is in the next aisle over speed-dialing CPS because she hears sympathetic mother-of-the-year telling Alex, "well, why did you gag yourself?! It's not my fault you puked all over the place! Stop crying, I'll clean it up!"  And I still hadn't separated that little stretchy thingy from the shoes!! I finally just ripped it off. Tag and all. Then the child has the brass to look at me and say "More? more?" Yeah right, kid.

I put the new shoes on, put the inexplicably wrecked ones in the box and proceed to checkout, where I have to then explain to the lady that I'm wearing the shoes that belong in the box because the ones I was wearing disintegrated before my very eyes.

And that people, is why I've started blogging again.


  1. Yes! It's high time you start documenting these adventures again! Unbelievable!! =)

  2. OH.MY.WORD. Sue....I laughed so hard I am not sure I am going to recover by Christmas. It will be great...someday...that you have all these stories written when Alex has kids! Merry Christmas from the Watsons!

  3. I am so glad you are blogging again. That story, although meant a rough day for you, made me laugh! I've do been there! Welcome back!!

  4. HILARIOUS!!! ... only because it didn't happen to me... The line that made me laugh the hardest was the one that had the word "brass" in it. :) Merry Christmas Sue!

  5. Oh gosh Sue I laughed out loud so many times reading this! Sorry to laugh at your unfortunate circumstances, but it rings close to home as a mother of 3, one being a crazy boy todder! haha welcome back to blogging, you probably dont realize how entertaining you are!
    Jo (not really anonymous, just didnt know how to post LOL)

  6. Lori SardinasDecember 27, 2011

    LOL too funny! After it is all over of course, sometimes with kids it's laugh or cry right?